Breaking Through The Elite B-School Screen

Mr. Hedge

• 680 – 720 GMAT
• 2.6 GPA (Yes, I partied and didn’t go to class)
• Undergraduate degree in finance from a large state school
• Work in Bermuda for a large multi-national reinsurance company doing corporate finance. Did a year and one-half stint with a small hedge fund in Luxembourg and a year and one-half stint with another small but top performing hedge fund where I bought credit default swaps (CDS) on large banks and mortgage-backed securities (MBS) in late 2006 and early 2007
• Became a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) (hopefully proving I didn’t earn a 2.6)
• Proficient in French
• “I’ve also done risk analysis and planning for a national trust and presented the findings and solutions to the board”

Odds of Success:

Harvard Business School: Zilch

Stanford: Double zilch

INSEAD: A wonderful long shot

Schools Ranked 10+: 10%

Red: 50%

Black: 50%

Lucky 17: 38-1 odds

Sandy’s Analysis: You may be the guy that Ms. Junior League above is looking for while she is marketing director of Tiffany. You breeze in asking how much is that necklace in the window, since you need an au revoir amuse-bouche for your pal from last night (I am assuming yours was a date where the amuse-bouche comes last).

She is taken with your Amex black card with its twinkling LED lights, and your need to jet back to Bermuda.

Man, what a story–parties, no classes, Luxembourg hedge funds, re-insurance deals in Bermuda, dude, this is Animal House meets Casino Royale. Alas, while I am your biggest fan, I fear most top 10 business schools will not be amuse(d).

They have, ahem, a low gag reflex when it comes to a 2.6, and the very few who swallow that, will not be able to get down trading MBS’ in early 2007, and fiddling while Rome was, if not yet burning, being drenched in gasoline.

Although let me repeat, I salute you. Have you thought of INSEAD? As a crazy long shot? Tell them that your school operated on a 3.0 GPA system. They love Americans (I am assuming you are one?). And having a guy from Bermuda might build out their international flag collection.

I also got a feeling, should you get in, you would have the time of your life. It IS a party school, amid much else, and my guess is, along your trail of tears, which stretches from those drunken nights at Big State U. through tossing together those vintage ’07 MBS’ on Wall Street, to Luxembourg’s Hedge Fund Alley, and on to the tonier re-insurance precincts of Hamilton, you have quite a fun-time repertoire. If you don’t make it there, in one word, the school and the car: Bentley.

To end this on a serious note, a 710+ GMAT, the CFA, and a TOTALLY DE-SNARKIFIED SELF-PRESENTATION, with perchance some careful omissions, might get you in via the playboy entrance at schools sort of ranked by U.S. News between 15 and 25.