A Wacky Follies Look At MBA Rankings

No one has ever ranked Columbia Business School No. 1, and it’s unlikely to ever happen.

But when it comes to MBA Follies’ shows, there’s no question about it. CBS rocks the house.

The latest performance includes this must-see satire on MBA rankings that allows Columbia students to poke great fun at all their rivals, from Wharton and Booth to Kellogg and Harvard.

The video starts inside the offices of U.S. News & World Report and goes on from there.

A sample of the hilarious lyrics:

You know it’s kind of hard just to be Top Ten these days, our building isn’t great and we do too much cocaine. Our library may be crowded and our food is real gross but we got Warren Buffet and Wall Street is so close.

Wharton’s in top eight, they overcompensate. At least we know we’ll never be confused with Penn State.

We get that Harvard’s up there, and Stanford, we agree. But Booth at number three? Are you fucking kidding me?



  • Josh

    As one of your “best and brightest” I was incredibly thankful and honored for the privilege of getting selected. I even wrote Jeff Schmitt a thank you note for including me this year. That being said, seeing this on P&Q was incredibly disappointing and isn’t representative with the values I emphasized in the piece you highlighted about me. This video is outdated and just plain wrong. It might have been acceptable 15-20 years ago but thankfully, most of us have grown up. To be clear – it is not funny. CBS is a great program and this likely was for internal use only (still not ok) but your publishing of it is pretty disparaging. As a father to 3 little girls I’ll think twice about my kids considering CBS solely because of this video. You’re doing more damage than good to their program despite them creating it. No one with any sense is looking at this video saying “oh cool…now I want to apply to CBS after seeing this!” Instead you’re getting a certain population with no opinion, and another population thinking “I’m nixing that application.” Really disappointed and hope you just remove the video in the next few days. This isn’t about free speech – don’t get confused. You’re just wrong here – own it and delete the video.

  • Chris

    “If the women who watch this video can’t see the satire at the heart of the video, then perhaps it is their responsibility to broaden their horizons and grasp all of the context behind the video.”

    I’m not a woman. In no context is this okay.


  • student1

    @poetsandquants-c81e728d9d4c2f636f067f89cc14862c:disqus, interesting that you point out how busy you’ve been with the best and brightest series. Have you considered what the friends and family of 2017’s Best and Brightest may accidentally find when they navigate to the sight? For example, say one of the Best and Brightest has a little sister on facebook, and stumbles across this and think this is what MBA life is like for women? I’ll probably need to stop to sharing P&Q media. What you thought might increase viewership is actually harming your credibility. Make better choices.

  • somsquared

    It really bothers me that the girl in the video can’t chew her pretzel with her mouth closed. Seriously…

  • paratroopermba

    It’s never appropriate to make these jokes?

    Alright, well you have fun with your definition of humor – I’m sure it works for you. Unfortunately, the rest of the world does not revolve around your definition of appropriate and inappropriate humor. I can understand the idea that some humor is unacceptable some of the time, due to context. However, you (or anyone else) do not get to completely forbid humor concerning one important part of our society.

    If the women who watch this video can’t see the satire at the heart of the video, then perhaps it is their responsibility to broaden their horizons and grasp all of the context behind the video.

    Women being in on the joke doesn’t make it okay? A woman making fun of herself is ALWAYS okay. The ability to be self-deprecating is highly valued in civilization. Constantly being serious about all topics all the time is a great way to isolate yourself from normal functioning people. This is the exact attitude that feminists fight against in many spheres nowadays. Whether it’s abortion rights panels that don’t include women, public shaming for revealing outfits and voluntary nudity, or equal access to education, there are far too many women (and men, for that matter) who argue that “real feminists don’t do” this or that. No one person gets to decide that, and certainly not in the field of humor.

  • adselge

    You meant Harvard, Stanford, Wharton. That is the holy trinity and it has been so for quite some time. Booth comes after.