Is Your Blind Spot Causing You To Doubt Your Self-Worth?

When I first met my client Kristof (not his real name), he wasn’t in a good place. The prior year, he applied to six business schools and got dinged by all of them. None of them even offered him an interview. The first words that came out of his mouth, when we had our first session, were:

“Apply to HBS? You must be kidding, right? I’m not even sure if I can get into any of the M7 schools. I have nothing to distinguish myself – nothing in my resume stands out.”

This is such a common sentiment that I brushed it aside straight away. Many applicants feel like Kristof. Whether they work at MBB (“I’m just another consultant”) or a large technology company (“There are so many of us competing for the same spot”), their blind spot for their own uniqueness is sabotaging the way they see and present themselves. This self-doubt can clearly be self-fulfilling: If you don’t think you’re good enough, then it is no one else will. 

When I reviewed Kristof’s applications from the year before, it was clear he didn’t give himself a chance. Before I tell you what we did, a little more about Kristof’s background.

The Public Ivy Entrepreneur Goes for an MBA

Kristof hailed from an over-represented demographic, and, in his mind, he didn’t go to a “top college.” Still, his undergraduate degree was from the equivalent of a public Ivy, where he got good grades, graduating in the top 10% of his class.  

He then joined a company founded by his aunt, who was a noted entrepreneur in her field (building materials). This was the only company he ever worked for, rising from an entry-level position to become a manager in international business development. 

I could see the hidden and not-so-hidden potential of Kristof’s candidacy. And yet, his words again betrayed his self-doubt:

“My aunt is the star. I just work for her.”

“I did my job but I don’t really have anything to show for it, except a lot of emails and spreadsheets.”

Kristof didn’t see himself as an entrepreneur. He felt he was just another “grunt.”  This was reflected in the old essays he wrote, which essentially listed all his aunt’s achievements without highlighting his contribution.

When I dug a little deeper, I found that Kristof’s self-narrative was all wrong. There was no nepotism involved in his hiring. He went through the same recruitment process as everyone else without disclosing to HR his family connection. He consistently performed well above expectation and received an award that was only given to the top 5% of all employees. His business development work pushed his aunt’s products into over a dozen new countries, responsible for a doubling of non-domestic income.

Why couldn’t Kristof see any of this? Well, at the time we met, he was still smarting from the six rejections. He also felt that his aunt’s company, while a leader in its field, wasn’t a household name. While that was true, it also wasn’t too hard to turn that perceived weakness into an advantage, with the right mindset.

Crafting a Unique MBA Application that Stands Out

When I start work with a client, I take several sessions just to dig into their passions, dreams, and psyche. Yes, it can feel a little shapeless and touchy-feely, but the best ideas often come from seemingly disjointed and random introspection, upon which real brainstorming can be based.

We established the following: Kristof wanted to be an entrepreneur, like his aunt, but it was clear that his dreams were even bigger. With his intimate knowledge of building materials, he saw huge potential in new types of flooring and laminate, which, when combined with technology, could truly revolutionize the industry.

When I revisited his old essays, I realized none of this was even touched upon. His stated career goals were: “growing the different brands” of his aunt’s company, and “spearheading international strategies.” It was a total snooze-fest. Not only that, Kristof failed to address the perceived nepotism related to how he got his job, and further, neglected to highlight his impressive achievements. No wonder he got nowhere. 

With my encouragement, an inner voice took hold and began telling Kristof he was worthy. And that was all it took. He began to see himself in a new light. His essays re-focused on him, not his aunt, and he was able to more clearly articulate his accomplishments and passions.

Of course, there were other things we needed to address. Kristof retook the GMAT, shored up his extracurricular profile, and most importantly, spoke plainly (and from his heart) about why he loved doing what he did.

His essays went from terrible to terrific, and he began to feel confident again. 

Kristof received many interview requests and quickly got an offer from an M7 school. It was his dream school and he didn’t even wait to hear from the rest before accepting that offer. He had a wonderful business school experience and is now working for a leading company in his field. He is currently gearing up to launch his own business venture. 

How to Translate this To Your MBA Admissions Campaign

I have encountered many clients like Kristof. They feel they don’t have “what the school wants.” They believe (falsely) that they lack the conventional markers that single them out from the pack. They begrudge the fact that they haven’t really achieved anything.  

The truth is, these are ALL self-limiting beliefs that will shortchange anyone’s candidacy. Sure, there are Olympic athletes, millionaire founders, and real rocket scientists who get into business schools. But those are the exception. The rest of the class is like Kristof, people who just need to make a mental switch to recognize their own competitive strengths.

If any (or all) of the following questions resonate with you in some shape or form, you could very well be in Kristof’s shoes and NOT know it:

• Is your self-worth shaped by the company or people you work for rather than what you’re doing or what you have done?
• Have you found yourself unable to articulate what makes you special, especially outside of a business school application?
• Do you suffer from imposter syndrome and/or are constantly second-guessing what you should do with your career? 

Most applicants don’t realize this journey is more than applying to business school. It is a process of self-discovery, self-understanding, and, ultimately, self-actualization. After all, why are you applying in the first place if you don’t have this nagging feeling that something better is waiting for you? Tap into your deepest dream and it will unlock the shining path ahead. 

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