Stanford GSB | Mr. Hopeful B School Investment Analyst
GRE 334, GPA 4.0
MIT Sloan | Mr. Spaniard
GMAT 710, GPA 7 out of 10 (top 15%)
Harvard | Ms. Consumer Sustainability
GMAT 740, GPA 3.95
Berkeley Haas | Mr. Stuck Consultant
GMAT 760, GPA 3.6
Harvard | Ms. Marketing Family Business
GMAT 750- first try so might retake for a higher score (aiming for 780), GPA Lower Second Class Honors (around 3.0)
Stanford GSB | Mr. Deferred MBA Candidate
GMAT 760, GPA 4.0
Kellogg | Mr. Structural Engineer
GMAT 680, GPA 3.2
Harvard | Mr. Air Force Seeking Feedback
GRE 329, GPA 3.2
Stanford GSB | Mr. Low GPA To Stanford
GMAT 770, GPA 2.7
Berkeley Haas | Mr. Colombian Sales Leader
GMAT 610, GPA 2.78
Darden | Mr. Anxious One
GRE 323, GPA 3.85
Stanford GSB | Ms. Eyebrows Say It All
GRE 299, GPA 8.2/10
Emory Goizueta | Mr. Family Business Turned Consultant
GMAT 640, GPA 3.0
Tuck | Ms. BFA To MBA
GMAT 700, GPA 3.96
Berkeley Haas | Mr. Hanging By A Thread
GMAT 710, GPA 3.8
Harvard | Ms. Hollywood To Healthcare
GMAT 730, GPA 2.5
Kellogg | Ms. Indian Entrepreneur
GMAT 750, GPA 3.3
Tuck | Ms. Confused One
GMAT 740, GPA 7.3/10
McCombs School of Business | Ms. Registered Nurse Entrepreneur
GMAT 630, GPA 3.59
Stanford GSB | Ms. Tech Consulting
GMAT 700, GPA 3.53
Kellogg | Mr. Danish Raised, US Based
GMAT 710, GPA 10.6 out of 12
Kellogg | Mr. Indian Engine Guy
GMAT 740, GPA 7.96 Eq to 3.7
INSEAD | Mr. Big Chill 770
GMAT 770, GPA 3-3.2
Yale | Mr. Whizzy
GMAT 720, GPA 4.22
Stanford GSB | Ms. Government To EdTech
GRE 323, GPA 14/20 (B equivalent)
Duke Fuqua | Ms. Venture Investments & Start-Ups In China
GMAT 640, GPA N/A
Wharton | Mr. Army Officer in Tech
GRE 322, GPA 3.1

Conan: “Transfer MBAs To White Collar Prison”

Comedian Conan O’Brien delivered the commencement address at Dartmouth College yesterday (June 12), and he didn’t miss the chance to deliver an MBA bashing line to the crowd. In the spirit of Winston Churchill and John F. Kennedy, he said he felt the need to set forth his own policy at the Ivy League school. O’Brien called it “The Conan Doctrine.”

His very first rule: “All bachelor degrees will be upgraded to master’s degrees. All master’s degrees will be upgraded to PhDs. And all MBA students will be immediately transferred to a white collar prison.”

Over at The Tuck School, General Electric Co. Chairman Jeffrey Immelt had a different view. Among other things, he said the need to innovate requires that students continue learning well after they receive their MBAs. “The dumbest I was, was the day I graduated from school,” said Immelt. “One of their goals needs to be the ability to get smarter and look around corners as time goes on.” After all, in a reverse-innovation world, the CEO needs to be both bold enough to bet on uncertain new industries but also humble enough to look for new ideas in unexpected places. “The obvious things are obvious because you already know them,” he says. “To be successful,” adds Immelt, “you have to have a notion that people count. You need to treat everybody, from the factory floor to the board room, with respect.”

For laughs, here’s Conan O’Brien’s complete commencement address.

I’ve been living in Los Angeles for two years, and I’ve never been this cold in my life. I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves. Anybody. I’m serious. I have the cash.

Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.

Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things: Good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth Class of 2011. Today, you have achieved something special, something only 92 percent of Americans your age will ever know: a college diploma. That’s right, with your college diploma you now have a crushing advantage over 8 percent of the workforce. I’m talking about dropout losers like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg. Incidentally, speaking of Mr. Zuckerberg, only at Harvard would someone have to invent a massive social network just to talk with someone in the next room.

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