Mr. Big Family

I grew up in a big family in a rural setting where there was no culture of achievement. My dad has 17 children and I am the first in my extended family to finish secondary school and subsequently go to university (there was only one university graduate in my entire village). Growing up in my family and seeing my mom die on her bed after a long illness without being taken to the hospital, I had a big ambition to change the trajectory of my family and by extension, my community. After losing my mom at the age of 12, life was a bit difficult, nobody really cared about you. I slept outside an uncountable number of days and nobody cared, I was maltreated and sexually abused and there was no one to talk to. So many kids experience this in my community because parents usually have many children and nobody cares as long as you can find your way home.
After finishing my secondary school, my dad discouraged me from attending university because it was too expensive. But I was very determined, and given that our state government usually pays the tuition fees for all the locals who got accepted into the federal university in our state, I just wanted to get admitted to a federal university. With a lot of efforts and determination, I got accepted into a Federal University. Attending the university came with its hurdles, but long story cut short, I graduated with the second highest GPA in a class of 300+, participated in several extracurricular activities, and represented my university in two competitions.
I currently, work in a big company in my country and support teenage girls and boys in my community to attend higher education institutions. Currently paying tuition fees for about 5 students attending polytechnics and helping about 3 attending universities, not to mention I fully cover the educational expenses of all my younger brothers and sisters.

An important aspect of my life want to share in my application is battling with mental health issues especially after I started working. I had so many suicidal thoughts in the past few years and still have occasionally. Since I was in high school, I knew I liked men but I was just too focused on my dreams and it didn’t affect me at all. But recently, I have had immense pressure from my family and everyone around me to get married and it is almost impossible for me to tell my family given its extremely conservative Islamic culture. I live in a very conservative society where you can be beaten to death by angry members of the community once they find out you’re gay. I sometimes think of just getting married to feel socially accepted into society but I simply cannot do that, I would never be happy that way. I also thought of just leaving the country and disappearing but then I thought of so many people, especially my younger siblings whose future depends on me.

Recently, with help of some friends from the LGBTQ community outside my country, I’m gaining a lot of strength, and nobody can force me to get married if I don’t want to. So my focus is significantly shifting from being worried about who I am to focusing on my career and professional development.