Cornell Johnson | Ms. Chef Instructor
GMAT 760, GPA 3.3
Ross | Mr. Automotive Compliance Professional
GMAT 710, GPA 3.7
Stanford GSB | Mr. Seeking Fellow Program
GMAT 760, GPA 3
Wharton | Mr. Real Estate Investor
GMAT 720, GPA 3.3
Chicago Booth | Mr. Oil & Gas Leader
GMAT 760, GPA 6.85/10
Chicago Booth | Ms. CS Engineer To Consultant
GMAT 720, GPA 3.31
Harvard | Mr. Climate
GMAT 720, GPA 3.4
Wharton | Mr. New England Hopeful
GMAT 730, GPA 3.65
Wharton | Mr. Digi-Transformer
GMAT 680, GPA 4
Berkeley Haas | Mr. Bangladeshi Data Scientist
GMAT 760, GPA 3.33
Harvard | Mr. Military Banker
GMAT 740, GPA 3.9
Ross | Ms. Packaging Manager
GMAT 730, GPA 3.47
Chicago Booth | Mr. Private Equity To Ed-Tech
GRE 326, GPA 3.4
Harvard | Mr. Gay Singaporean Strategy Consultant
GMAT 730, GPA 3.3
Cornell Johnson | Mr. Electric Vehicles Product Strategist
GRE 331, GPA 3.8
Columbia | Mr. BB Trading M/O To Hedge Fund
GMAT 710, GPA 3.23
Columbia | Mr. Old Indian Engineer
GRE 333, GPA 67%
Harvard | Mr. Athlete Turned MBB Consultant
GMAT 720, GPA 3.4
Ross | Mr. Civil Rights Lawyer
GMAT 710, GPA 3.62
Stanford GSB | Mr. Co-Founder & Analytics Manager
GMAT 750, GPA 7.4 out of 10.0 - 4th in Class
Cornell Johnson | Ms. Environmental Sustainability
GMAT N/A, GPA 7.08
Cornell Johnson | Mr. Trucking
GMAT 640, GPA 3.82
Ross | Mr. Low GRE Not-For-Profit
GRE 316, GPA 74.04% First Division (No GPA)
Harvard | Mr. Marine Pilot
GMAT 750, GPA 3.98
Harvard | Mr. Army Intelligence Officer
GRE 334, GPA 3.97
Harvard | Ms. Data Analyst In Logistics
GRE 325, GPA 4
McCombs School of Business | Mr. Comeback Story
GRE 313, GPA 2.9

Common Questions From Helpless, Hapless & Hopeless MBA Applicants

6) Will they accept materials after the deadline?

Even if the answer is yes at some schools, my answer will always be no. It’s only fair to all the candidates to adhere to one deadline.  The rare exception is for recommenders, but we need to prove that we can manage projects and people, and, well, the application is a combination of both.

7) Should I use the optional essay to explain why I have a low GPA/GMAT?

Ok, this isn’t as dumb as the others, but you need to tell us whether you should. If you have a legitimate reason then yes, but don’t say, “I partied too much in school and it was awesome!  I’m more mature now as you can see by my leadership role in the weekly Beer Garden Club that I started with bros at the office.”

Or for the GMAT: “I scored poorly on math because I’m not good at math.”  They noticed this already.  It also doesn’t fly to say, “I did poorly on the GMAT because I didn’t have time to study.”  Ok, great, so you mean to tell us, you don’t care enough about applying to grad school? Everyone else has a job and manages to study.

8) Who can I pay to write my essays for me?

I hope you are rejected from every school.  You and your little dog too!

Any others out there that get under your skin? Let me know how you’d answer them or if not, I’m sure my opinionated self will have an answer!

Sassafras is a 29-year-old MBA applicant who works for a San Francisco-based non-profit organization with a primary focus on youth development and education. With a 730 GMAT and a 3.4 grade point average from a highly ranked liberal arts college, he currently blogs at MBA: My Break Away? His previous posts for Poets&Quants:

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