The Columbia B-School Bachelorette

“I’m so excited that I’m the B-school bachelorette,” exclaims Sarah, the most eligible woman at Columbia Business School. “I feel like the luckiest girl at a Top 10 business school who’s not already engaged, married or dating a guy in value investing.”

The dating scene at CBS just isn’t cutting it. “I need to look for love outside of the ‘Very Center of Business,'” she laments, also noting she’s even had to stoop to the ‘social enterprise’ guys in search for her true love.

Thankfully, a group of young men from “top and mid-tier” business schools have been put together to vie for her B-school love. The first?

Richard from The Wharton School. “GMAT: 700; Former Industry: Consultant; Current Status: Dickwad,” the caption reads underneath a popped collared bro.

“Wharton? Seriously?! I’d rather stay single,” Sarah cries.

It soon got worse. The former endangered seal trainer from Yale’s School of Management doesn’t cut it, either. Nor does Johan, the rave-going Prince from INSEAD. Thankfully Sarah had three options remaining. Unfortunately, those options are the Harvard snob, the Stanford techie nerd and the weirdo from Tuck. Watch above to see which dashing gentleman wins Sarah’s date and how it goes.

Of course, it’s a joke, all in good fun and part of the annual Columbia Business School follies show. B-school banter runs rampant at folly shows, and Columbia annual stages one of the true extravaganzas. Just last March, Wharton did the same thing at their yearly performance.

CBS Follies, which has its own YouTube page, also looked inwardly to jest. Check out the video below where Warren Buffett and other notable CBS alums are made light of in a parody of “Jack Sparrow” by Lonely Island.